When the vultures finally get you they will eat your anus and eyeballs first

On April 1st myself and some of the cccv crew went to see locally-born filmmaker Brian Hecker speak at the Museum of Science about the release of his film "Bart Got a Room." I didn't want to go. It was hosted by the Entertainment Industry Incubator (e incubator for the hip), an organization whose mission, as far as I can tell from years of unfortunate encounters, is to organize events that give sad PAs over 35 and geriatric "media professionals" a place to claw at one another and subsequently, convince the young and the talented to get the hell out of Miami. If you had any doubts as to whether you were in the wrong place, nothing will convince you more quickly than the vulgar desperation of an e incubator event.

The event was surprisingly well attended (around 200 heads?) and Brian was well-spoken, friendly, and polished but perhaps too polished; a likable guy and good storyteller. The moderator, a prominent casting director in Miami, was cloy and condescending. She was also the reason the event was so well attended- many actors and actresses were all dolled up, presumably to impress Mr. Hecker so much that he would sweep them away to magical Hollywoodland where they would be famous and beautiful forever and ever.

Brian's story is basically this: grew up in Hollywood, FL, went out of state to attend undergrad, returned to SoFLa for a few years, went to grad school in L.A. where a student film got him a lot of attention, wrote a feature version of this student film, and then went through development hell for 13 years before the film was finally produced. Those 13 years had interesting stories- he had Danny DeVito attached at one point, Ray Romano wanted to be in his film, but things did not work out until he was able to film it in Florida, with William H. Macy. And now a script he wrote may be made into a film starring Leo DiCaprio.
After he was finished speaking, the vultures descended. As is the usual with these things, the good people of the Miami industry mobbed Brian, 20 people deep, probably preventing his actual friends and family from seeing him from behind the DVDs being shoved at him. We went to Casolas.

That weekend I was in New York and got a chance to see "Bart Got a Room," at the Loews on about 68th and Broadway. Granted, it was the upper West side, but of the 50 people in the audience, maybe 35 were Jewish tweens. This is not a gross generalization- they were wearing yarmulkes, and probably on some kind of school trip. Not the type of wide appeal you'd hope for opening weekend. The film was...well, underwhelming. If I had been home sick and it had been on TV, I would have watched it for about three minutes then changed the channel. If you have ever seen a coming of age story- boy likes girls, can't get girls, tries to get them, hijinks ensue, discovers what is really important in life, everyone grows as a result, etc. etc. then you have seen "Bart Got a Room." Worse still, if you have seen the trailer, you have seen almost every major plot point from the film. Seriously. It's incredible what the trailer gives away. I will spare you the time and money, here is the film:

And at the end he goes with his best friend and makes a wonderful memory with his family. The only cool part about it was that it was actually filmed in Hollywood, FL and it feels genuinely like FL. I also have to give mad respect to the fact that he fought to be able to film it here. Anyway, I'm not trying to write a review here, I am just trying to say... 13 YEARS? YOU SPENT 13 YEARS MAKING A BLAND COMING OF AGE STORY?
I am bewildered by this. There is nothing important or beautiful or new about this film that could possibly compel anyone to be devoted to it for 13 years. It is watered down, "papa sin sal" save for a few moments of incongruously crude humor. And he ate a lot of shit in LA, for 13 years, to get it made.

This stands in stark contrast to the other film by a local filmmaker I saw that week, "Medicine for Melancholy." While the film has plenty of its own problems (Andrew will be posting a full review/ interview with the director later this week), the process was completely different. Several friends got together, decided they wanted to make the film, and they just did it. Not in LA, not with big studios, they got together and in less than a year they had raised the money and made the film. Both "Medicine for Melancholy" and "Bart Got a Room" played in prominent film festivals and were released in limited engagements nationwide. Both got national press.
My point is this: why go to LA to hustle and degrade yourself so that MAYBE one day you will be given a chance to create your own work...when you can just...do your own work. Right here. Right now. You don't need LA, you don't need all that money. Barry Jenkins wrote a script he loved, got friends together, raised a little bit of money (less than a used car) and with some craftiness, made something that took Brian Hecker 13 years to do.

Seeing both films and hearing both directors speak in the same week really affirmed the CCCV Movement for me. There is hope. Even though sometimes I feel like I should be on the grind in LA instead of MIA, this weekend let me know that we're doing things right. Maybe.