The 30.5 Theses
(30.5 reasons why the Borscht Film Festival should be named the Film Festival of choice in the New Times’ “Best of Miami” issue.)So last year we lost out to the Jewish Film Festival, but that doesn't mean we are giving up this year. In fact, this is a chance to bring justice to the world. Here is a slightly updated list from last year.
1. We are the only festival that caters exclusively to local talent. Some small efforts to reach out (Miami International Film Festival, Miami Underground Film Festival) and some claim to be interested in local talent (such as the Miami Short film Festival, where only 4 out of the 86 films screened in 2008 were by locals, that’s 4.6%) but we are the only festival that shows, commissions and promotes 100% local work.
2. We are free. Not just admission- submitting is free, showing is free, drinks and booze and snacks are free.
3. Speaking of booze, we invented a drink. It has Jupina in it. It is called “the CCCV.” It is Jupina and rum, preferably served in an “I Survived the Montu” collector’s cup. (We have given it away before and will do so again.)
4. While the Miami International Film Festival is the Miami Herald (largest audience, somewhat bland, cloudy economic future) we are the ideological film festival equivalent to the New Times (hippest audience, free, scrappy, cynical, funded in part by escort services).
5. Our movies are about Miami, but you won’t see rollerbladers on Ocean Drive, or glossy Michael Bay shoot outs- we tell stories about things like why Hotwheels changed their name to Superwheels, what the crack heads in downtown think of the construction boom, and what the hipsters gentrifying Little Haiti do when they’re not at Sweat Records.
6. The festival isn’t held at an AMC. Or a movie theater, usually. It’s held at places like the Planetarium, the Tower Theater on Calle Ocho, or Gusman. This year it may be held at Miami Jai-Alai. We’re working on it, so no promises.
7. We are the only film festival in the world with a Naval Armada. Through a series of shady coincidences (and despite a theft that robbed us of some of naval might) we still have two boats in our possession, and are ready to battle any other film festival on the high seas.
8. We’re not only involved in visual arts and film; we are part of the CCCV (the Roman numeral for 305), an arts collective that is devoted to creating dance (Mandra Danceprojects) and theater (Foryoucansee Theater) works for Miami as well.
9. Most of Miami’s talent bolts for L.A. and NY. While we can’t do much about that yet, we make sure some of our best work in Miami at least once a year keeping them artistically interested in their home town.
10. We see ourselves as part of a movement of 20something Miami artists coming into their own at once, together, defining what it is to be a Miamian as opposed to allowing ourselves to be defined by outside media sources.
11. Even our shitty movies have something redeemable about them. While bad movies at other local festivals are clichéd and vacuous, our bad movies fail because they were made by a 19-year-old in Hialeah on a budget of $12. And they’re still interesting.
12. We’re growing. Last year people were scalping our free tickets to get into the oversold Gusman Center. We have finally been getting recognized by grants from organizations such as the Downtown Development Authority, Miami-Dade Cultural Affairs, and we are a finalist for a Knight Arts Challenge Grant.
13. We have money now. 6 to 10 Miami-based filmmakers will be given fully funded productions. What other festival is so committed to developing local talent that they will pay them to make films for them?
14. We’re young. A 17-year-old founded it in 2005. Our oldest filmmaker is under 30. And also the best looking film festival. Seriously, compare our headshots to other local fests.
15. We are the only organization who would hire Milton Garcia, our recently paroled, Miami-themed tattooed Master of Communications who rarely shows his face for obvious reasons.
16. Borscht is a Ukrainian soup, and can be served hot or cold.
17. While Miami has plenty of quality specialty film festivals (Gay and Lesbian, various national and ethnic festivals) we seek to encompass all of the Miami experience, and therefore have a touch of flavor from all the niche festivals, and…
18. Our form is just as diverse as the subject matter. Yes, we’ve shown dance on film before (Dictadura), next to heady mainstream indie films (Medicine for Melancholy), next to cartoons that went on to play at SXSW, next to trash cinema.
19. We are the only festival seeking out and promoting work that depicts the 1st and 2nd generation American experience without resorting to cheap clichés. As many of our parents came to Miami from their respective countries and helped build the city through their defining immigrant experiences, we are the first generation to define the native Miami experience.
20. Our website features both a shirtless Udonis Haslem and a French situationist map restructured to reflect the psycho-geography of Miami.
21. We’re hard.
22. Our artists work across disciplines- we’ve shown work done by young choreographers, architects, graffiti artists, playwrights, and aspiring astronauts (no joke).
23. Every one of our festivals has included a robot. One hosted the first Borscht, and every one since has had a robot that gives hugs, created by Juan Griego. This year, we will be hosting a robot battle.
24. We are not communists. This is a common misconception, as…
25. We do not have a president but a Minister of the Interior, and no mission statement but a…
26. Manifesto. http://www.borscht.info/manifesto.html Yes, irony?
27. Some among us are militantly Anti-Broward County. The principal job of the Minister of Defense is to uphold this tradition.
28. Many films in Miami get away with being low quality because it is accepted in our incubated community. We seek to raise the quality to a professional level. We’re not competing with each other, but with other regional film scenes.
29. We are working towards the goal of creating a viable independent film scene- not an industry, a scene that provides consistent work to local artists (making it viable to be based out of Miami) and has an idiosyncratic voice unlike any in the world. We want to tell Miami stories to a global audience. It sounds like every other pipe dream shared by most young people in Miami, but we are actually working our asses off to make it happen, and getting more people involved every day. Already we have screened Miami stories we've created to international audiences at festivals like Cannes, Sundance, Tribeca, SXSW and more, not to mention fans from 30 different countries who have watched our work online.
30. We love the New Times, not just because they gave us a Mastermind Grant.
30.5 We, more than any other festival, could use the title of “Best of Miami.” It would give us a sense of legitimacy without having to cater to more mainstream media. And we would probably put it in all our bios, or something.
Vote for us as Best Festival (it’s on the 3rd or 4th page) here:
http://polls.miaminewtimes.com/polls/mia/bestof10/
http://polls.miaminewtimes.com/polls/mia/bestof10/
If you happen to be an editor of the New Times, read carefully. If you happen to know an editor of the New Times or have access to where they work, please nail to their doors. Tape is not acceptable.
The last day to vote is June 2nd!
1. We are the only festival that caters exclusively to local talent. Some small efforts to reach out (Miami International Film Festival, Miami Underground Film Festival) and some claim to be interested in local talent (such as the Miami Short film Festival, where only 4 out of the 86 films screened in 2008 were by locals, that’s 4.6%) but we are the only festival that shows, commissions and promotes 100% local work.
2. We are free. Not just admission- submitting is free, showing is free, drinks and booze and snacks are free.
3. Speaking of booze, we invented a drink. It has Jupina in it. It is called “the CCCV.” It is Jupina and rum, preferably served in an “I Survived the Montu” collector’s cup. (We have given it away before and will do so again.)
4. While the Miami International Film Festival is the Miami Herald (largest audience, somewhat bland, cloudy economic future) we are the ideological film festival equivalent to the New Times (hippest audience, free, scrappy, cynical, funded in part by escort services).
5. Our movies are about Miami, but you won’t see rollerbladers on Ocean Drive, or glossy Michael Bay shoot outs- we tell stories about things like why Hotwheels changed their name to Superwheels, what the crack heads in downtown think of the construction boom, and what the hipsters gentrifying Little Haiti do when they’re not at Sweat Records.
6. The festival isn’t held at an AMC. Or a movie theater, usually. It’s held at places like the Planetarium, the Tower Theater on Calle Ocho, or Gusman. This year it may be held at Miami Jai-Alai. We’re working on it, so no promises.
7. We are the only film festival in the world with a Naval Armada. Through a series of shady coincidences (and despite a theft that robbed us of some of naval might) we still have two boats in our possession, and are ready to battle any other film festival on the high seas.
8. We’re not only involved in visual arts and film; we are part of the CCCV (the Roman numeral for 305), an arts collective that is devoted to creating dance (Mandra Danceprojects) and theater (Foryoucansee Theater) works for Miami as well.
9. Most of Miami’s talent bolts for L.A. and NY. While we can’t do much about that yet, we make sure some of our best work in Miami at least once a year keeping them artistically interested in their home town.
10. We see ourselves as part of a movement of 20something Miami artists coming into their own at once, together, defining what it is to be a Miamian as opposed to allowing ourselves to be defined by outside media sources.
11. Even our shitty movies have something redeemable about them. While bad movies at other local festivals are clichéd and vacuous, our bad movies fail because they were made by a 19-year-old in Hialeah on a budget of $12. And they’re still interesting.
12. We’re growing. Last year people were scalping our free tickets to get into the oversold Gusman Center. We have finally been getting recognized by grants from organizations such as the Downtown Development Authority, Miami-Dade Cultural Affairs, and we are a finalist for a Knight Arts Challenge Grant.
13. We have money now. 6 to 10 Miami-based filmmakers will be given fully funded productions. What other festival is so committed to developing local talent that they will pay them to make films for them?
14. We’re young. A 17-year-old founded it in 2005. Our oldest filmmaker is under 30. And also the best looking film festival. Seriously, compare our headshots to other local fests.
15. We are the only organization who would hire Milton Garcia, our recently paroled, Miami-themed tattooed Master of Communications who rarely shows his face for obvious reasons.
16. Borscht is a Ukrainian soup, and can be served hot or cold.
17. While Miami has plenty of quality specialty film festivals (Gay and Lesbian, various national and ethnic festivals) we seek to encompass all of the Miami experience, and therefore have a touch of flavor from all the niche festivals, and…
18. Our form is just as diverse as the subject matter. Yes, we’ve shown dance on film before (Dictadura), next to heady mainstream indie films (Medicine for Melancholy), next to cartoons that went on to play at SXSW, next to trash cinema.
19. We are the only festival seeking out and promoting work that depicts the 1st and 2nd generation American experience without resorting to cheap clichés. As many of our parents came to Miami from their respective countries and helped build the city through their defining immigrant experiences, we are the first generation to define the native Miami experience.
20. Our website features both a shirtless Udonis Haslem and a French situationist map restructured to reflect the psycho-geography of Miami.
21. We’re hard.
22. Our artists work across disciplines- we’ve shown work done by young choreographers, architects, graffiti artists, playwrights, and aspiring astronauts (no joke).
23. Every one of our festivals has included a robot. One hosted the first Borscht, and every one since has had a robot that gives hugs, created by Juan Griego. This year, we will be hosting a robot battle.
24. We are not communists. This is a common misconception, as…
25. We do not have a president but a Minister of the Interior, and no mission statement but a…
26. Manifesto. http://www.borscht.info/manifesto.html Yes, irony?
27. Some among us are militantly Anti-Broward County. The principal job of the Minister of Defense is to uphold this tradition.
28. Many films in Miami get away with being low quality because it is accepted in our incubated community. We seek to raise the quality to a professional level. We’re not competing with each other, but with other regional film scenes.
29. We are working towards the goal of creating a viable independent film scene- not an industry, a scene that provides consistent work to local artists (making it viable to be based out of Miami) and has an idiosyncratic voice unlike any in the world. We want to tell Miami stories to a global audience. It sounds like every other pipe dream shared by most young people in Miami, but we are actually working our asses off to make it happen, and getting more people involved every day. Already we have screened Miami stories we've created to international audiences at festivals like Cannes, Sundance, Tribeca, SXSW and more, not to mention fans from 30 different countries who have watched our work online.
30. We love the New Times, not just because they gave us a Mastermind Grant.
30.5 We, more than any other festival, could use the title of “Best of Miami.” It would give us a sense of legitimacy without having to cater to more mainstream media. And we would probably put it in all our bios, or something.
Vote now, the last day to vote is June 2nd!
http://polls.miaminewtimes.com/polls/mia/bestof10/
http://polls.miaminewtimes.com/polls/mia/bestof10/
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1 comments:
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